Please keep your arms and head inside the vehicle at all times

The one where I get behind the wheel

Published on March 4th, 2016

I probably failed to mention this but last week, I took – and failed – my driver’s test. It was a stupid reason, too, that I failed: parallel fucking parking.

See, when I first got my license, oh so many years ago, I didn’t have to parallel park. It was part of the test, but that part of the test was in front of my house! My guess is that the person administering the test had noticed this and we just skipped it all together.

30+ years of driving and I had always managed to avoid parallel parking. I’d drive out of my way, pay for a garage, anything. I just didnt do it.

No such luck this time, G not C. It is a required part of Arizona’s driving test and if you don’t pass it you don’t continue with the rest of the exam.

The Better Half took me out for a couple of days and I practiced. I practiced at the MVD’s lot. I practiced with real cars. Over and over. I had that shit down. I could do it with my eyes closed.

Test day comes. I fucking blew it. Stupid mistake. I was pissed at myself and between mental self-beatings, I rescheduled for 7 days later to try again.

Today was that day. I’d practiced a bit yesterday. Still nailed it. Arrived at the MVD early, parked on the road and got a few parallel parks in before going inside to wait to take the test again.

From the title of this blog post, you should have figured out that I passed that motherfucker! Not with flying colors, but gods damnit, I fucking passed.

In hindsight, if I’d just kept my license (or just traded my Oregon one for an AZ one), even if I felt I’d never drive again, I could have avoided this whole frustrating and test-anxiety-inducing series of events.

This is one of a series of blog posts about my ongoing Keratoconus treatments. You can find all the posts at The Keratoconus Chronicles page.

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