One Two Five Four

The one where I let other people stick plastic things in my eyes

Published on October 16th, 2016

Went in for the contact lens fitting today. I tell you what. That was a surreal experience. These were random prescription, solely for fitting, lenses, so I wasn’t expecting too much. My right eye (the healthier one) was numbed and a contact put in and allowed to ‘relax’ a little. Oh wow. I could see, without glasses. Then the same was done for the left eye.


Actually, it was more like:

big e

I could see the Big “E”. With. My. Left. Eye. The vision was a little ‘wobbly’ (due to the bubbles, Doc Oc told us a bit later in the appointment), but sight. Doc Oc had me skootch up to the eye exam thingamabob so he could take a closer look. As I did, I said quietly, mostly to myself, “I should have done this sooner.”

Bubbles under the lenses, which meant time to try another set. Doc decided to leave the left contact in for a bit and deal with the right eye, since it was the easier of the two (the left eye is gonna take another even more fine-tuned lense fitting, surprise!). His assistant (a resident? student doc oc? not sure, really, so I’ll call her “Doc Jr”) came in, Doc Oc brought her up to speed and left the room for a bit. Doc Jr took out the right lens, put in a new one. Hey. Even better! Skootch up to the eye exam thingamabob, take 2 on the right eye. A few flips of diopters and the “Which is better? One? Or two?” routine. Guess what? 20/20 in the right eye, bitches!

Doc Jr left the room to retrieve Doc Oc, leaving me and The Better Half (TBH) alone. TBH had been sitting in another chair about 10 feet away the entire time (well beyond my range of vision in my left eye) – mostly being quiet and texting my mother the play by play of the appointment – or Facebooking (a little column A, little column B, perhaps?) when she said to me, “Close your right eye.” Okay, I think I know where this is going… “How many fingers am I holding up?” One. “Now?” Two. “Now?” (I think she was impressed at this point) Five. “Now?” Four.

One Hundred Percent. Hey, legal blindess! Suck. On. That.

This is one of a series of blog posts about my ongoing Keratoconus treatments. You can find all the posts at The Keratoconus Chronicles page

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